For those of you who haven't seen this yet:
...and what I have to say about this is: Pokémon Snap 2 FTW plzkthx. Wouldn't it be sweet to jump out from behind trees and capture a pikachu (lol Team Rocket) on film (oh wait, nvm). WOULDN'T THAT BE AWESOME?! Whatever, IDK where to submit that slip of paper for consideration to Nintendo. I bet they already thought of it and were like "Shut up kid. That game didn't make any money which means it wouldn't a 2nd time either." and IDK of the validity of that statement. I can't imagine it not doing super well. It was one of the best pokémans out there...Whatever. I thought it was a great idea...
The End.
23 December, 2008
22 December, 2008
Today I feel like writing about doctors and how much I hate them...
...other things will more than likely arise. Watch in disbelief.
Doctors: I hate you and your stupid profession. No, I'm not talking about brain surgeons or cancer researchers or useful doctors. I'm talking about physicians or whatever they're called. Family doctors maybe.
So you're there with the so-called "doctor", and you says to him "I are sick. Fix it." so the doctor does some pointless test things like cotton balls in your mouth, light globes in your ears, etc. Finally he says to you "It's dangerous to go alone, take this." and hands you a bottle of mystery pills. For most people that's enough. For me, it's not. From there I says to him "What does I has?" and he says "LOL, IDK." and I'm like "well what's this nonsense inna bottle?" and he says (louder this time) "LOL! IDK!!11!!" which is justa buncha bull honkey. He might as well be like "Don't tell me anything about what you have, I'm going to try and guess. Also, here. I found this under the sink" and hands you anything from sugar water to a bottle with one of those Mr. Yuck stickers on them. Do you remember those? I do. That makes me feel old, but really I'm not and knowing what those stickers are shouldn't help me to feel old because it's not like those are old. IDK weird...CHOOSE YOUR OWN DECISION-VENTURE
ENDING A: but I digress...
So he hands you some stuff that you probably could've gone to the grocery store and bought yourself, but it's more convenient because you don't have to do the guessing because they have a professional to guess for you! And it only cost you eighty-five bucks, and two hours of waiting.
Funny story, my friend diagnosed her own ringworm via Wikipedia, and took it to the doctor, wherein said doctor fit the above mentioned stereotype, labelling the obviously diagnosable ringworm as 'some kinda yeast infection...probably' gave her some who-knows-what which eventually made it worse. The End.
ENDING B: I'm still young enough to have adventures with minimal repercussions, rite? Oh that's right! I haven't told you about my latest adventures! Allow me to do that now:
So hey, I got a job extended to me. Apparently they accept forged teaching licenses out in Pittsburgh. I guess studying graphic design and spending hours in photoshop finally paid off. So I'll be doing that. Ten bucks an hour even! That's almost as much as I got at my last job! ...which was over a year ago... Man I'm lazy. Well I'll be teaching middle school kids as soon as my background clearance checks...clear. IDK how well I'll do, but I hear a teacher's salary is pretty hateful on budgets so I'll be looking for other work too like maybe I could coach softball or dance team...or maybe I'll just go to the mall or something. Being a teacher looks good on a resume right?
The school finds out about my forged certificates and I'm thrown in jail. Your efforts to have a non-crappy ending fail. The End.
Doctors: I hate you and your stupid profession. No, I'm not talking about brain surgeons or cancer researchers or useful doctors. I'm talking about physicians or whatever they're called. Family doctors maybe.
So you're there with the so-called "doctor", and you says to him "I are sick. Fix it." so the doctor does some pointless test things like cotton balls in your mouth, light globes in your ears, etc. Finally he says to you "It's dangerous to go alone, take this." and hands you a bottle of mystery pills. For most people that's enough. For me, it's not. From there I says to him "What does I has?" and he says "LOL, IDK." and I'm like "well what's this nonsense inna bottle?" and he says (louder this time) "LOL! IDK!!11!!" which is justa buncha bull honkey. He might as well be like "Don't tell me anything about what you have, I'm going to try and guess. Also, here. I found this under the sink" and hands you anything from sugar water to a bottle with one of those Mr. Yuck stickers on them. Do you remember those? I do. That makes me feel old, but really I'm not and knowing what those stickers are shouldn't help me to feel old because it's not like those are old. IDK weird...CHOOSE YOUR OWN DECISION-VENTURE
- If you'd like to hear me hate on doctors some more, go to page right-below-here
- If you'd like to hear me continue this tangent spawned from me talking about 'being old' go to ENDING B
ENDING A: but I digress...
So he hands you some stuff that you probably could've gone to the grocery store and bought yourself, but it's more convenient because you don't have to do the guessing because they have a professional to guess for you! And it only cost you eighty-five bucks, and two hours of waiting.
Funny story, my friend diagnosed her own ringworm via Wikipedia, and took it to the doctor, wherein said doctor fit the above mentioned stereotype, labelling the obviously diagnosable ringworm as 'some kinda yeast infection...probably' gave her some who-knows-what which eventually made it worse. The End.
ENDING B: I'm still young enough to have adventures with minimal repercussions, rite? Oh that's right! I haven't told you about my latest adventures! Allow me to do that now:
So hey, I got a job extended to me. Apparently they accept forged teaching licenses out in Pittsburgh. I guess studying graphic design and spending hours in photoshop finally paid off. So I'll be doing that. Ten bucks an hour even! That's almost as much as I got at my last job! ...which was over a year ago... Man I'm lazy. Well I'll be teaching middle school kids as soon as my background clearance checks...clear. IDK how well I'll do, but I hear a teacher's salary is pretty hateful on budgets so I'll be looking for other work too like maybe I could coach softball or dance team...or maybe I'll just go to the mall or something. Being a teacher looks good on a resume right?
The school finds out about my forged certificates and I'm thrown in jail. Your efforts to have a non-crappy ending fail. The End.
14 December, 2008
Cookies for breakfast?
Hecks yes! Copenhagen butter cookies. These things are like super addictive.
So...it's important for people to not be depressing and judgemental of themselves so much. I used to be, but then I started sort of sarcastically being egotistical, and that was good-ish. I mean, it helped me quit being such an introvert, but I kind of think I've taken things a little far lately...I'm human just like everyone else and I deserve the things that entails, but there's much more to society than human and non-human. I, of course, am talking about good looks. In high school I was like "Why was I born like this?!" but seriously. High school. Then I quit being so angsty and was like "You know...I'm not half-bad looking..." and that eventually evolved into bragging about how I have to beat the ladies off with a stick just because I've run into a few less-fortunates with crushes on me. Really, I'm just in the 'not half-bad looking' class.
OMG, these cookies. They're not extraordinary, but I can't stop eating them for some reason.
Crushing:
I set my standards pretty high because of my aforementioned ego, so I'm not crushing on girls very much. In the past six years, I think there have been...two. I can't actually remember any farther back than that. I don't think there were really any serious ones. Whatevs, the point is: I don't crush easily. Unfortunately, because of this, when I do crush, IDK how to deal with it properly and it kind of turns into an obsession and that's never healthy. Everyone has a list. They might not know it, but they do. Generally speaking, people shoot for like 80% of the things on that list depending on the individual or situation because when you actually meet a person you realize that the 20% that person doesn't have really wasn't that important after all. Theory and practical application are completely different things. Sometimes people set lower standards for themselves because they're self-conscious or less picky. Then you get this couple wherein the lady meets 130% of the man's list, and a man, who only meets 60% of the lady's list. So you've got a guy who's obsessing, and a girl who is only sway from friendship into relationship by 10% but they've both confessed feelings for the other. This sucks. But then that poses the question "Hao can I avoid such a situation?" well, you could be overly analytical and make material copies of these 'lists' and compare and contrast. I don't actually think that would work now that I think about it. Plus it would take a lot out of the potential percolation in said relationship. So nvm. Don't actually do that. I don't think there's a way to avoid it. It just sucks. That's life.
Bleh, I thought I was over these and I thought "Huh, I guess I'm not addicted anymore. I guess that means I can have another..." Stupid addictive cookies...
Whut am I trying to say and why? I'm saying...I'm slightly frustrated because I'm not pretty. Why am I saying this? So that you can tell me that I am pretty. NO. In fact, don't tell me that, or anything remotely like it even. I just have a blog and I write in it. On average, I've determined that the average amounts of people to read my postings is somewhere around 1.2 persons. That's right: One and a fifth. That's probably an exaggeration. Whatevs. I'm also saying that I need to back off and quit being so...apparent. Like, it's already apparent but I get the impression that it's getting annoying. Would it be right to suppress it? I mean then it's like I'm lowering my attraction levels right? Grr...complicated business...
Arts & crafts hate me, but not nearly as much as sewing. Wewt.
So...it's important for people to not be depressing and judgemental of themselves so much. I used to be, but then I started sort of sarcastically being egotistical, and that was good-ish. I mean, it helped me quit being such an introvert, but I kind of think I've taken things a little far lately...I'm human just like everyone else and I deserve the things that entails, but there's much more to society than human and non-human. I, of course, am talking about good looks. In high school I was like "Why was I born like this?!" but seriously. High school. Then I quit being so angsty and was like "You know...I'm not half-bad looking..." and that eventually evolved into bragging about how I have to beat the ladies off with a stick just because I've run into a few less-fortunates with crushes on me. Really, I'm just in the 'not half-bad looking' class.
OMG, these cookies. They're not extraordinary, but I can't stop eating them for some reason.
Crushing:
I set my standards pretty high because of my aforementioned ego, so I'm not crushing on girls very much. In the past six years, I think there have been...two. I can't actually remember any farther back than that. I don't think there were really any serious ones. Whatevs, the point is: I don't crush easily. Unfortunately, because of this, when I do crush, IDK how to deal with it properly and it kind of turns into an obsession and that's never healthy. Everyone has a list. They might not know it, but they do. Generally speaking, people shoot for like 80% of the things on that list depending on the individual or situation because when you actually meet a person you realize that the 20% that person doesn't have really wasn't that important after all. Theory and practical application are completely different things. Sometimes people set lower standards for themselves because they're self-conscious or less picky. Then you get this couple wherein the lady meets 130% of the man's list, and a man, who only meets 60% of the lady's list. So you've got a guy who's obsessing, and a girl who is only sway from friendship into relationship by 10% but they've both confessed feelings for the other. This sucks. But then that poses the question "Hao can I avoid such a situation?" well, you could be overly analytical and make material copies of these 'lists' and compare and contrast. I don't actually think that would work now that I think about it. Plus it would take a lot out of the potential percolation in said relationship. So nvm. Don't actually do that. I don't think there's a way to avoid it. It just sucks. That's life.
Bleh, I thought I was over these and I thought "Huh, I guess I'm not addicted anymore. I guess that means I can have another..." Stupid addictive cookies...
Whut am I trying to say and why? I'm saying...I'm slightly frustrated because I'm not pretty. Why am I saying this? So that you can tell me that I am pretty. NO. In fact, don't tell me that, or anything remotely like it even. I just have a blog and I write in it. On average, I've determined that the average amounts of people to read my postings is somewhere around 1.2 persons. That's right: One and a fifth. That's probably an exaggeration. Whatevs. I'm also saying that I need to back off and quit being so...apparent. Like, it's already apparent but I get the impression that it's getting annoying. Would it be right to suppress it? I mean then it's like I'm lowering my attraction levels right? Grr...complicated business...
Arts & crafts hate me, but not nearly as much as sewing. Wewt.
08 December, 2008
Driving is a stupid, stupid game
Driving. What the heck? I hate doing it now.
Driving used to be fun because I would...you know...speed a little. Speed a lot really. Then one day, my negligence caught up to me and I got a number of speeding tickets all in the same week. Needless to say that ended unfortunate for my 'still-having-a-license' status. After jumping through a number of hoops, and what seemed like six months, but was probably more like a year, I finally got my license back. Unfortunately for the 'Drive Alive' programme and the state of Ohio, no amount of drunk driving videos could stop me from speeding. So for a number of months after having my license back, I continued to speed with a heightened state of awareness as far as law enforcement goes. One day, I'm going about my normal speedy business on the freeway in unfamiliar territory. Of course, I'm keeping my eye out for cops and the like so I don't have any trouble, right? Wrong. I see some cops up the road a ways so I slow myself on down to avoid suspicion. I get pulled over any-dang-ways. THEY CAUGHT ME BY AIR. Nowhere is safe anymore.
So whatever, I speed in my neighbourhood because I know the area pretty-dang-well and no aeroplanes or helicopters catch me there. THEN A COP PULLS OUT BEHIND ME. What the heck? I wasn't even speeding this time. Maybe he's just going my same direction, but it's awfully suspicious when he doesn't use turn signals and is going everywhere I am. Not to mention, he was parked until I came along. The point is, everywhere I go now, I'm driving in fear. I want to say something like "I can't afford to have my license taken again..." but really, driving the speed limit is something I hate so much for no reason at all. Not having a license is actually looking better than having one right about now. I know, that really doesn't make sense, how else can I put it? The speed limit is like...it's like the 'No Child Left Behind' programme: it's a blanket solution for an individual based problem. People are stupid, this much is true, but do you really have to weigh us all down with it? I know what you're thinking "Oh, so you think you're so great with your superior reflexes and judgement on the road, so should be allowed to drive faster than the rest of us?" well, yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. I know that sounds egotistical of me, but it's like those smart children in elementary school who want to move onto the next subject but are weighed down by their classmates. Imagine if we had that same attitude towards athletics? The football players could be as good as their weakest member. Track runners could only be as fast as their slowest member. This is hardly a good idea for anything, so why the freeway, and MORE IMPORTANTLY: Why the classroom?
CONCLUSION:
Driving is a chore. Rules are stupid, and so are most people which is why nobody can reach their full potential except for the weakest and slowest of us. If you're feeling pretty good about yourself, it's because you're the reason everyone else is feeling terrible.
I hate everyone.
Driving used to be fun because I would...you know...speed a little. Speed a lot really. Then one day, my negligence caught up to me and I got a number of speeding tickets all in the same week. Needless to say that ended unfortunate for my 'still-having-a-license' status. After jumping through a number of hoops, and what seemed like six months, but was probably more like a year, I finally got my license back. Unfortunately for the 'Drive Alive' programme and the state of Ohio, no amount of drunk driving videos could stop me from speeding. So for a number of months after having my license back, I continued to speed with a heightened state of awareness as far as law enforcement goes. One day, I'm going about my normal speedy business on the freeway in unfamiliar territory. Of course, I'm keeping my eye out for cops and the like so I don't have any trouble, right? Wrong. I see some cops up the road a ways so I slow myself on down to avoid suspicion. I get pulled over any-dang-ways. THEY CAUGHT ME BY AIR. Nowhere is safe anymore.
So whatever, I speed in my neighbourhood because I know the area pretty-dang-well and no aeroplanes or helicopters catch me there. THEN A COP PULLS OUT BEHIND ME. What the heck? I wasn't even speeding this time. Maybe he's just going my same direction, but it's awfully suspicious when he doesn't use turn signals and is going everywhere I am. Not to mention, he was parked until I came along. The point is, everywhere I go now, I'm driving in fear. I want to say something like "I can't afford to have my license taken again..." but really, driving the speed limit is something I hate so much for no reason at all. Not having a license is actually looking better than having one right about now. I know, that really doesn't make sense, how else can I put it? The speed limit is like...it's like the 'No Child Left Behind' programme: it's a blanket solution for an individual based problem. People are stupid, this much is true, but do you really have to weigh us all down with it? I know what you're thinking "Oh, so you think you're so great with your superior reflexes and judgement on the road, so should be allowed to drive faster than the rest of us?" well, yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. I know that sounds egotistical of me, but it's like those smart children in elementary school who want to move onto the next subject but are weighed down by their classmates. Imagine if we had that same attitude towards athletics? The football players could be as good as their weakest member. Track runners could only be as fast as their slowest member. This is hardly a good idea for anything, so why the freeway, and MORE IMPORTANTLY: Why the classroom?
CONCLUSION:
Driving is a chore. Rules are stupid, and so are most people which is why nobody can reach their full potential except for the weakest and slowest of us. If you're feeling pretty good about yourself, it's because you're the reason everyone else is feeling terrible.
I hate everyone.
02 December, 2008
...back from WashPA
So I've managed to get myself into this mode where I just think for hours and hours while doing something mindless. Do you want to know what it is that I need so much time to contemplate? Of course you do! So I'll go on to tell you what it is: I LOVE THIS GIRL!
Yeah, yeah, yeah...it's high school all over again, right? Wrong. I've only ever had a crush even remotely like this one other time in my life. Crush? Is that the right word? Whatevs. Either way, I'm sure you're asking yourself "Well what's there to think about?" actually you're probably not. I just really wish someone would ask questions, but nobody ever does so I have to. Well...listen to my elaborate story before being so quick to tell me that my use of the word 'crush' is wrong. Not that rules like English apply to enigmatic things like love.
So this girl, she's pretty much amazing, and when I say that, I of course mean that she's the greatest thing ever, but I don't know that at first because we hadn't actually met IRL until last Friday. Let me tell you all of the things I learned about her:
1.) Introvert-esque: She can hold her own in a social situation, but at the same time I feel special when she takes the time to talk to me :3
2.) Short: OMG, that's kind of shallow of me. Whatever, it's not like anyone's reading anyways. How many people are even subscribed to my journal? I know my sister is, but she never reads it. Besides that, any wandering eyes I made sure to lose at the end of the first couple of sentences. Just an aesthetic preference, just like glasses-wearing.
3.) Glasses-Wearing: Sue me. It gives the face a nice border, not to mention she's just as attractive with them off.
4.) Level-Headed: She's not the type to jump to conclusions or act irrationally without thinking. This might sound sexist, but...womens have a tendency to do that.
5.) Adorkable: Most of the women--like 99.9%--of the women I've met who indulge in things like Japanese culture, fantasy novel reading, or other things that would otherwise label them as 'dorks' (or other variations of the term) all seem to have difficulty with basic hygiene and overall prudence. They're not too great in social situations either.
These are just the 4 main highlights (glasses-wearing and short can be condensed into 'general aesthetics'). I kind of feel like an over-analytical emotionless robot by determining what attributes I admire about a woman and listing them, but not really. I just say that in case anyone else gets that impression from reading this. Then they can see that I realize what I'm doing and that I even feel a little unnatural about it. Of course, it's all a lie. I even established that with the subsequent explanation. That would ruin me if I thought anyone would ever read it. Moving on...
Of course, like with any human being there are some not-so-fandsome attributes, and it's not healthy to ignore them. The last time I did that it was an infatuation which is super unbalanced and not good for anyone. Allow me to go on to explain the cons of this gorgeous intellectual:
1.) Communication: Right well, 'holding your own in a social situation' and 'properly conveying your thoughts and feelings' are two completely different things. Don't get me wrong, we talk a lot about tons of different things, and really this might not even be a valid point because of the circumstances in the which I deemed this a 'not-so-fandsome attribute'. You see, this weekend only afforded me so many days to declare my undying love for this woman, so I decided to do so. I believe my words were "I really like you a lot." because as soon as the word 'love' slips out of my mouth I'd be considered a creep by most people's standards so I decided to play it safe. So she reciprocates by saying "I'm not gonna lie, I like you too." and then there was silence. If that was anyone's fault, it was mine. I hadn't planned that far ahead. I just needed to get it out there. LATER I feel like I need to say more so I do. I mean 'I like you a lot' can be taken a number of ways so I decide to clarify. The word 'love' slips out of my mouth along with some other words, the potency of which are overpowered in my memory banks by the potency of the word 'love'. She responded with something like "I already said that I like you!" so I'm thinking 'Oi, man...you ruined it. You're a creep now.'
...
So I forgot where I was going with that, and I think I even proved myself wrong, while simultaneously reliving a rush of adrenaline and regret. Maybe I just have terrible emotion reception.
I think that made me want to stop writing...
Just lemme wrap up real quick: Usually I'm the one giving advice to people about relationships because I'm super good at it or something, but it's so hard to think straight when you're the one in the situation yourself. Maybe I'm not good at giving relationship advice, but instead, I'm normal at it and love gets into these people's judgement and drives it into a wall and the just need anybody else to help. Dang it, I lost sight of the point of this paragraph again...I'll try that again.
Usually I'm the one giving relationship related advice, but now I need some for me. If you happened to be passing by and managed to make it through all of my...ranting and raving I could really use some help with these main concerns:
1.) She lives a four hour drive away. Whut do I do?!
2.) Oh yeah, she still has a b/f...
3.) Woah, now it sounds like she's totally not interested in me at all. I'm pretty sure she is, I'm fairly certain she is even. We didn't actually kiss, but I told her that I was thinking about it and she was like "I would have enjoyed that (although being in a relationship would've made that much more preferable)."
4.) I just really don't know where to go from here. I'm thinking I should just move out there. Would that be a terrible idea?
5.) I don't actually know how into me she is. I'm kind of afraid that I'm waaaaaaaaaaay too into her and that her interest in me was only initiated with my confession, although I'm PRETTY SURE THAT'S NOT THE CASE. Grr...I just don't want to assume anything. Assuming things gets people in trouble (or so I've heard, and now that I think about it, it was from a pretty shady source. Maybe it's not entirely accurate. Either way, I've never been more nervous about anything in my life so I'm trying to play it safe, but I guess that's not always the best idea either huh?)
6.) I'm like putting everything on the table and trying my hardest to be open about it, which normally wouldn't be an issue because I'm a straightforward kind of guy and say what's on my mind, but for some reason whenever I'm around her my voice gets higher and it's harder for me, not only to sound normal, but for words to escape my throat. I think my confession to her got to the tip of my tongue like fourty-seven times before I actually said it, and even then, the first two times it came out, it crawled right back in.
Crapdangle, this is way too huge for anyone to even bother reading...I guess that keeps me from looking like a fool though. I was never one to openly feel emotions, expressially not love.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...it's high school all over again, right? Wrong. I've only ever had a crush even remotely like this one other time in my life. Crush? Is that the right word? Whatevs. Either way, I'm sure you're asking yourself "Well what's there to think about?" actually you're probably not. I just really wish someone would ask questions, but nobody ever does so I have to. Well...listen to my elaborate story before being so quick to tell me that my use of the word 'crush' is wrong. Not that rules like English apply to enigmatic things like love.
So this girl, she's pretty much amazing, and when I say that, I of course mean that she's the greatest thing ever, but I don't know that at first because we hadn't actually met IRL until last Friday. Let me tell you all of the things I learned about her:
1.) Introvert-esque: She can hold her own in a social situation, but at the same time I feel special when she takes the time to talk to me :3
2.) Short: OMG, that's kind of shallow of me. Whatever, it's not like anyone's reading anyways. How many people are even subscribed to my journal? I know my sister is, but she never reads it. Besides that, any wandering eyes I made sure to lose at the end of the first couple of sentences. Just an aesthetic preference, just like glasses-wearing.
3.) Glasses-Wearing: Sue me. It gives the face a nice border, not to mention she's just as attractive with them off.
4.) Level-Headed: She's not the type to jump to conclusions or act irrationally without thinking. This might sound sexist, but...womens have a tendency to do that.
5.) Adorkable: Most of the women--like 99.9%--of the women I've met who indulge in things like Japanese culture, fantasy novel reading, or other things that would otherwise label them as 'dorks' (or other variations of the term) all seem to have difficulty with basic hygiene and overall prudence. They're not too great in social situations either.
These are just the 4 main highlights (glasses-wearing and short can be condensed into 'general aesthetics'). I kind of feel like an over-analytical emotionless robot by determining what attributes I admire about a woman and listing them, but not really. I just say that in case anyone else gets that impression from reading this. Then they can see that I realize what I'm doing and that I even feel a little unnatural about it. Of course, it's all a lie. I even established that with the subsequent explanation. That would ruin me if I thought anyone would ever read it. Moving on...
Of course, like with any human being there are some not-so-fandsome attributes, and it's not healthy to ignore them. The last time I did that it was an infatuation which is super unbalanced and not good for anyone. Allow me to go on to explain the cons of this gorgeous intellectual:
1.) Communication: Right well, 'holding your own in a social situation' and 'properly conveying your thoughts and feelings' are two completely different things. Don't get me wrong, we talk a lot about tons of different things, and really this might not even be a valid point because of the circumstances in the which I deemed this a 'not-so-fandsome attribute'. You see, this weekend only afforded me so many days to declare my undying love for this woman, so I decided to do so. I believe my words were "I really like you a lot." because as soon as the word 'love' slips out of my mouth I'd be considered a creep by most people's standards so I decided to play it safe. So she reciprocates by saying "I'm not gonna lie, I like you too." and then there was silence. If that was anyone's fault, it was mine. I hadn't planned that far ahead. I just needed to get it out there. LATER I feel like I need to say more so I do. I mean 'I like you a lot' can be taken a number of ways so I decide to clarify. The word 'love' slips out of my mouth along with some other words, the potency of which are overpowered in my memory banks by the potency of the word 'love'. She responded with something like "I already said that I like you!" so I'm thinking 'Oi, man...you ruined it. You're a creep now.'
...
So I forgot where I was going with that, and I think I even proved myself wrong, while simultaneously reliving a rush of adrenaline and regret. Maybe I just have terrible emotion reception.
I think that made me want to stop writing...
Just lemme wrap up real quick: Usually I'm the one giving advice to people about relationships because I'm super good at it or something, but it's so hard to think straight when you're the one in the situation yourself. Maybe I'm not good at giving relationship advice, but instead, I'm normal at it and love gets into these people's judgement and drives it into a wall and the just need anybody else to help. Dang it, I lost sight of the point of this paragraph again...I'll try that again.
Usually I'm the one giving relationship related advice, but now I need some for me. If you happened to be passing by and managed to make it through all of my...ranting and raving I could really use some help with these main concerns:
1.) She lives a four hour drive away. Whut do I do?!
2.) Oh yeah, she still has a b/f...
3.) Woah, now it sounds like she's totally not interested in me at all. I'm pretty sure she is, I'm fairly certain she is even. We didn't actually kiss, but I told her that I was thinking about it and she was like "I would have enjoyed that (although being in a relationship would've made that much more preferable)."
4.) I just really don't know where to go from here. I'm thinking I should just move out there. Would that be a terrible idea?
5.) I don't actually know how into me she is. I'm kind of afraid that I'm waaaaaaaaaaay too into her and that her interest in me was only initiated with my confession, although I'm PRETTY SURE THAT'S NOT THE CASE. Grr...I just don't want to assume anything. Assuming things gets people in trouble (or so I've heard, and now that I think about it, it was from a pretty shady source. Maybe it's not entirely accurate. Either way, I've never been more nervous about anything in my life so I'm trying to play it safe, but I guess that's not always the best idea either huh?)
6.) I'm like putting everything on the table and trying my hardest to be open about it, which normally wouldn't be an issue because I'm a straightforward kind of guy and say what's on my mind, but for some reason whenever I'm around her my voice gets higher and it's harder for me, not only to sound normal, but for words to escape my throat. I think my confession to her got to the tip of my tongue like fourty-seven times before I actually said it, and even then, the first two times it came out, it crawled right back in.
Crapdangle, this is way too huge for anyone to even bother reading...I guess that keeps me from looking like a fool though. I was never one to openly feel emotions, expressially not love.
19 November, 2008
I wrote you a lovesong...
...but I eated it. Here's a crappy poem instead:
Magical pants, magical pants
filled to the brim with magical ants
turning my dreams into magical can'ts
That was actually 40x more romantic than the song I originally wrote.
Love
-Jon
Magical pants, magical pants
filled to the brim with magical ants
turning my dreams into magical can'ts
That was actually 40x more romantic than the song I originally wrote.
Love
-Jon
18 November, 2008
Education & Sales
So, back in the day, teaching ended after high school. Children would graduate and then go into a profession. Remember those days? I remember reading about them. Now there's this whole 'college' nonsense. Sure it looks good on paper, but the fact of the matter is that since the establishment and common practice of 'higher education' employers will accept nothing less. If not for the communistic ways of college institutions a fellow like myself with no degree to show off, could not only find employment in any specific field, but education for said field at the same time. "Learn by doing." amirite? Then I could walk over to Mead headquarters in...woah, that's in Dayton Ohio? Weird. Anyways, I could just walk over there and be like "I wanna be a graphic designer when I grow up!" >sparkly eyes< and they'd be like "Awsm, you can start tomorrow." and at first I'd be terrible, but over time, being surrounded with these professionals and having some of their genius rub off on me, I'd be the notebook and calendar creator I had always dreamed of! Do you hear what I'm telling you? The prince is marrying the sea-witch in disguise!" no, not that. I'm saying that the foundation of higher education has made our society spoiled. They want only the finest of whatever, and what better way than a piece of paper that proves to the world that they can recite textbook knowledge inna classroom environment? Expressially when it comes to the arts. "Art cannot be taught, but it can be felt." You really have to have a nack for art, but because of colleges handing out these--what they like to call-- 'degrees' any talentless, emotionless hollow shell of a man can easily take a job that I myself could do any number of times better. I know what you're thinking: "It can't be that bad, can it?" YES. IT CAN. This is the reason we have those calendars of tigers sitting on the shelves at Wal Mart that you look at and say "Nah..." but then your dear old grandma buys it for you for Christmas and you open it like "Aawahaaa(!) that's--awesome!" but then you end up either never using it despite the fact that you actually do need a calendar, or getting a different one anyways.
Here is the current list of things I'd like to major in:
1.) Photography
2.) English
3.) Japanese
4.) Filmography
5.) Psychology
6.) Teaching
7.) Music
8.) Life Guarding (not really a major is it?)
9.) I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of them right now
So I get dropped off downtown and have to wander around in the bitter cold looking for a room that I don't even know the number of, for a good ten minutes. I find the place and have to wait for a hour. I really don't mind waiting, I'm a super patient person, but having to wait makes this story sound all the more unplesant. THEN this lady, who's supposed to be helping me decide on a major, is like "Well if you don't know what you want to do then I can't help you." like--"WTF? I thought that was your job!" apparently not. Her job is to force me to register for classes despite not having a major. There was English and Math. Those are both legit. But then she signed me up for Psychology and music theory. Then she starts tanking into this 'student loan' thing like "Okay, well it looks like you've got a few offers here, why don't we just accept those now..." I probably would have if she worded it different or wasn't so pushy about it, but the way she did things made me feel like I was in one of those sales meetings where they talk to you for hours and hours about a real estate course or a timeshare in Alaska and at the end are like "So how many can I put you down for?" 'assuming the sale' like I've already said 'yes' which is apparently a good tactic to selling, but it's never worked on me or for me. Just as a side note, aggressive selling is evil. Don't ever let anyone sell you anything. If you make any purchases, have it based on what you can determine from the passive advertisements. If a Target employee says anything positive about any product, plop it in your cart like you're going to buy it and as soon as they're out of sight, dropkick that mess like it's a football. That way, not only are you hating on the product for trying to sneak its way into your cart, you're also hating on the Target employee by making him/her have to eventually go and pick it up and put it back up on the shelf. I say 'Target' not because I hate them. I <3 that place, even though I worked there for a few months! I just know Wal Mart employees are more likely to ask for change than make a solid sales pitch. Not that Target employees get paid commission. You know what?! You're thinking way too much about this! Why don't you calm down! It was just a 'for instance' kind of thing. If it makes you feel any better, pretend I said 'Best Buy' or 'Sears' instead of 'Target'. Those guys get paid commission, right?
Here is the current list of things I'd like to major in:
1.) Photography
2.) English
3.) Japanese
4.) Filmography
5.) Psychology
6.) Teaching
7.) Music
8.) Life Guarding (not really a major is it?)
9.) I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of them right now
So I get dropped off downtown and have to wander around in the bitter cold looking for a room that I don't even know the number of, for a good ten minutes. I find the place and have to wait for a hour. I really don't mind waiting, I'm a super patient person, but having to wait makes this story sound all the more unplesant. THEN this lady, who's supposed to be helping me decide on a major, is like "Well if you don't know what you want to do then I can't help you." like--"WTF? I thought that was your job!" apparently not. Her job is to force me to register for classes despite not having a major. There was English and Math. Those are both legit. But then she signed me up for Psychology and music theory. Then she starts tanking into this 'student loan' thing like "Okay, well it looks like you've got a few offers here, why don't we just accept those now..." I probably would have if she worded it different or wasn't so pushy about it, but the way she did things made me feel like I was in one of those sales meetings where they talk to you for hours and hours about a real estate course or a timeshare in Alaska and at the end are like "So how many can I put you down for?" 'assuming the sale' like I've already said 'yes' which is apparently a good tactic to selling, but it's never worked on me or for me. Just as a side note, aggressive selling is evil. Don't ever let anyone sell you anything. If you make any purchases, have it based on what you can determine from the passive advertisements. If a Target employee says anything positive about any product, plop it in your cart like you're going to buy it and as soon as they're out of sight, dropkick that mess like it's a football. That way, not only are you hating on the product for trying to sneak its way into your cart, you're also hating on the Target employee by making him/her have to eventually go and pick it up and put it back up on the shelf. I say 'Target' not because I hate them. I <3 that place, even though I worked there for a few months! I just know Wal Mart employees are more likely to ask for change than make a solid sales pitch. Not that Target employees get paid commission. You know what?! You're thinking way too much about this! Why don't you calm down! It was just a 'for instance' kind of thing. If it makes you feel any better, pretend I said 'Best Buy' or 'Sears' instead of 'Target'. Those guys get paid commission, right?
19 October, 2008
Cats: srsly wut?
I recently expressed my longing to be able to communicate with cats. Some of you may already know about this. I've always subconsciously wanted to talk to cats, but I had an experience recently that really brought it to stand out in my mind. I was coaxing a passing by cat to come and sit on the couch with me so that I could experience the fury of brushing my hand through his/her fur whilst I was simultaneously entertained via the Intertrons. This cat looked at me with a very generic expression, but it was more or less the timing that made it seem like the cat was trying to say "WTF? Seriously?" It was about that time that I wanted to say "Ya, srsly. Get up here nao." but the cat was just like "Whatevs." and went about whatever business cats have to attend to. It's that very attitude--or rather, the assumption of that attitude--that I admire cats for.
Unfortunately, as you may have already guessed, no amount of admiration convinced the cat to join me on the couch. That's why I wish I could speak with them and be like "Dood, I won't eat you, I promise." and then the cat could be like "O, cool." and jump all up onto the couch next to me. Really I wouldn't be the only one benefiting from it. We'd both win.
Cats like being petted, right?
In Other News:
Unfortunately, as you may have already guessed, no amount of admiration convinced the cat to join me on the couch. That's why I wish I could speak with them and be like "Dood, I won't eat you, I promise." and then the cat could be like "O, cool." and jump all up onto the couch next to me. Really I wouldn't be the only one benefiting from it. We'd both win.
Cats like being petted, right?
In Other News:
- Spore - lolol but also :'(
- Recording Studio - Going to go Czech it out tomorrow :D
- Career Development Fireside Note Taking - lolol (not very much amounts of 'helpful' though)
- Ladies - I'll never understand you . . .
- Death Note - Fun to watch a 2nd time even!
- Kickin' Cheddar Pringles - Grossville. If you like food that tastes good, don't buy and/or consume these.
15 October, 2008
Let me to take a break for a while to calm my nerves...
I'm really frustrated right now. I don't like the feeling, and there's nothing that could help me experience it like sewing does.
The reason I sew is because I like being able to customize things, particularly in the way of clothings (because of my exceeding height). Sewing is the natural choice for me. Unfortunately, it's the most complicated thing I've ever had to deal with. I live by the theory that 'close is good enough' but sewing is the exact opposite.
I hate everything.
No not really, it's just fun to say that. I still love video games, but now isn't the time for those. My dad just came home early because he lost his job and I'm definitely still wearing makeup...
The reason I sew is because I like being able to customize things, particularly in the way of clothings (because of my exceeding height). Sewing is the natural choice for me. Unfortunately, it's the most complicated thing I've ever had to deal with. I live by the theory that 'close is good enough' but sewing is the exact opposite.- "That's close enough to the edge..." No it's not. Now your shirt will fall apart.
- "Oh, this is a little shorter than that. Oh well, I'll just sew them together anyways. It worked last time." Well it won't work this time. The rules and applications of sewing are inconsistent.
- "Crap, well I guess I'll gather on the longer piece to make it shorter and then sew them together." NOT ALLOWED "WTF? Why not?" because you're terrible at sewing and don't actually know what you're doing.
- "Fine, I'll actually take in the sleeve so they're the same size." No you won't! You don't have the guts! "Heck yes I do!" Remember all those other times you failed? Do you really want to go through that again? "..." That's what I thought.
I hate everything.
No not really, it's just fun to say that. I still love video games, but now isn't the time for those. My dad just came home early because he lost his job and I'm definitely still wearing makeup...
14 October, 2008
Society Suckers
"It's the name of a song or something." ~Me
Society is a tricky game. Not hateful and immature like politics, but it requires a hefty amount of tact and prudence. I can only begin to see how people who actually take the time to think about it would consider it necessary. The concept of being sociable is planted into our minds at a very early age and only people who are bad at playing deem it unnecessary, but that's just because they don't like losing. I'm not talking about being sociably acceptable and practicing a sufficent amount of hygene, that should just come semi-naturally and be something everyone does for the sake of everyone else whether socializing or not. Seriously, when you sit at the back of the bus, I can smell you from the front, even when you don't say anything to anyone. Take a shower.
I just felt my heart beating on the left side of my body and I freaked out. I could've swore that little guy was on the other side of me...but I digress.
What was I saying? Oh right, society. In my endeavours to become more sociable [in accordance with my New Year's resolutions], I've found that there are a fair number of hoops to jump through in order to gain people's friendship or even pass an initial broad categorization into either 'freak' or 'okay-sort-of-person'. There's no formula for winning everyone over; different people have different prefrence in the sort of folk they will allow themselves or prefer to associate with. Something that earns you brownie points with one individual, might be the last straw with another individual, putting you in their 'freak' bin with that guy that doesn't shower.
Everyone can relate to everyone, even if it's something as simple as "Hey, you need food and nourishment to stay alive? ME TOO!" but how do you find things that you have in common? Well that's easy! First and foremost, you want to study your target. There are lots of things you can learn about an individual from simply hiding in the bushes and watching him or her, or even following your target home and rummaging through their garbage, although I wouldn't suggest either of these because those get you put in the 'psycho' bin automatically.
No, but seriously, before talking to an individual examine them (not in a noticable way, that's socially unacceptable for some reason). You can tell a lot about a person from the way they dress, the way they carry themselves, and if you can, artfully eavesdrop a conversation that they're actively a part of and see if you can't pull from it any common interests between you two. The more unsuspicious eavesdropping, the more you have to work with.
How did this turn into what it turned into? That's not what I initially meant to do. What has it turned into? A how-to on being social? No. Changing that now.
The point I was trying to come to, is that I sometimes find myself frustrated with the fact that I can't approach an individual and say "You seem interesting, I'd like to spend more time with you." without it seeming like a pickup line, especially when I'm talking to a dude. When I would like it to sound like a pickup line, it's just a little too anylitical for my style...maybe...
What's the point I'm trying to get across? What am I trying to say? I usually ask myself these questions after writing, but moreso this time than usual...
<== (Halp me get exposure plzkthx.)
Society is a tricky game. Not hateful and immature like politics, but it requires a hefty amount of tact and prudence. I can only begin to see how people who actually take the time to think about it would consider it necessary. The concept of being sociable is planted into our minds at a very early age and only people who are bad at playing deem it unnecessary, but that's just because they don't like losing. I'm not talking about being sociably acceptable and practicing a sufficent amount of hygene, that should just come semi-naturally and be something everyone does for the sake of everyone else whether socializing or not. Seriously, when you sit at the back of the bus, I can smell you from the front, even when you don't say anything to anyone. Take a shower.
I just felt my heart beating on the left side of my body and I freaked out. I could've swore that little guy was on the other side of me...but I digress.
What was I saying? Oh right, society. In my endeavours to become more sociable [in accordance with my New Year's resolutions], I've found that there are a fair number of hoops to jump through in order to gain people's friendship or even pass an initial broad categorization into either 'freak' or 'okay-sort-of-person'. There's no formula for winning everyone over; different people have different prefrence in the sort of folk they will allow themselves or prefer to associate with. Something that earns you brownie points with one individual, might be the last straw with another individual, putting you in their 'freak' bin with that guy that doesn't shower.Everyone can relate to everyone, even if it's something as simple as "Hey, you need food and nourishment to stay alive? ME TOO!" but how do you find things that you have in common? Well that's easy! First and foremost, you want to study your target. There are lots of things you can learn about an individual from simply hiding in the bushes and watching him or her, or even following your target home and rummaging through their garbage, although I wouldn't suggest either of these because those get you put in the 'psycho' bin automatically.
No, but seriously, before talking to an individual examine them (not in a noticable way, that's socially unacceptable for some reason). You can tell a lot about a person from the way they dress, the way they carry themselves, and if you can, artfully eavesdrop a conversation that they're actively a part of and see if you can't pull from it any common interests between you two. The more unsuspicious eavesdropping, the more you have to work with.
How did this turn into what it turned into? That's not what I initially meant to do. What has it turned into? A how-to on being social? No. Changing that now.
The point I was trying to come to, is that I sometimes find myself frustrated with the fact that I can't approach an individual and say "You seem interesting, I'd like to spend more time with you." without it seeming like a pickup line, especially when I'm talking to a dude. When I would like it to sound like a pickup line, it's just a little too anylitical for my style...maybe...
What's the point I'm trying to get across? What am I trying to say? I usually ask myself these questions after writing, but moreso this time than usual...
<== (Halp me get exposure plzkthx.)
11 October, 2008
Revisiting: Family Matters
As hard as this show worked to teach children of the world important morals and values, revisiting this popular television series ten years later has yielded surprisingly racist results.As far as African-Americans go, they did quite a good job including a wide array of individuals with varying circumstances. Different intelligence levels, wealth and status are all different, and they all even have a diverse moral alignment. However, according to Family Matters, all white people have evil intents, intelligence levels always under par, either wealthy or middle-class, lack any sort of common courtesy, and under any and all circumstances should be made fun of for any of the above reasons. Not enough to really offend a white person on a conscious level, especially not back then, but enough to make me wonder.
Quite honestly, I didn't bother sitting down and watching all nine seasons of the show, so my observation may be a little heavy on one side. I'm not writing as a criticism, I'm writing because I'm bored. That's the only reason I ever write. Welcome to my blog.
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