...but I eated it. Here's a crappy poem instead:
Magical pants, magical pants
filled to the brim with magical ants
turning my dreams into magical can'ts
That was actually 40x more romantic than the song I originally wrote.
Love
-Jon
19 November, 2008
18 November, 2008
Education & Sales
So, back in the day, teaching ended after high school. Children would graduate and then go into a profession. Remember those days? I remember reading about them. Now there's this whole 'college' nonsense. Sure it looks good on paper, but the fact of the matter is that since the establishment and common practice of 'higher education' employers will accept nothing less. If not for the communistic ways of college institutions a fellow like myself with no degree to show off, could not only find employment in any specific field, but education for said field at the same time. "Learn by doing." amirite? Then I could walk over to Mead headquarters in...woah, that's in Dayton Ohio? Weird. Anyways, I could just walk over there and be like "I wanna be a graphic designer when I grow up!" >sparkly eyes< and they'd be like "Awsm, you can start tomorrow." and at first I'd be terrible, but over time, being surrounded with these professionals and having some of their genius rub off on me, I'd be the notebook and calendar creator I had always dreamed of! Do you hear what I'm telling you? The prince is marrying the sea-witch in disguise!" no, not that. I'm saying that the foundation of higher education has made our society spoiled. They want only the finest of whatever, and what better way than a piece of paper that proves to the world that they can recite textbook knowledge inna classroom environment? Expressially when it comes to the arts. "Art cannot be taught, but it can be felt." You really have to have a nack for art, but because of colleges handing out these--what they like to call-- 'degrees' any talentless, emotionless hollow shell of a man can easily take a job that I myself could do any number of times better. I know what you're thinking: "It can't be that bad, can it?" YES. IT CAN. This is the reason we have those calendars of tigers sitting on the shelves at Wal Mart that you look at and say "Nah..." but then your dear old grandma buys it for you for Christmas and you open it like "Aawahaaa(!) that's--awesome!" but then you end up either never using it despite the fact that you actually do need a calendar, or getting a different one anyways.
Here is the current list of things I'd like to major in:
1.) Photography
2.) English
3.) Japanese
4.) Filmography
5.) Psychology
6.) Teaching
7.) Music
8.) Life Guarding (not really a major is it?)
9.) I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of them right now
So I get dropped off downtown and have to wander around in the bitter cold looking for a room that I don't even know the number of, for a good ten minutes. I find the place and have to wait for a hour. I really don't mind waiting, I'm a super patient person, but having to wait makes this story sound all the more unplesant. THEN this lady, who's supposed to be helping me decide on a major, is like "Well if you don't know what you want to do then I can't help you." like--"WTF? I thought that was your job!" apparently not. Her job is to force me to register for classes despite not having a major. There was English and Math. Those are both legit. But then she signed me up for Psychology and music theory. Then she starts tanking into this 'student loan' thing like "Okay, well it looks like you've got a few offers here, why don't we just accept those now..." I probably would have if she worded it different or wasn't so pushy about it, but the way she did things made me feel like I was in one of those sales meetings where they talk to you for hours and hours about a real estate course or a timeshare in Alaska and at the end are like "So how many can I put you down for?" 'assuming the sale' like I've already said 'yes' which is apparently a good tactic to selling, but it's never worked on me or for me. Just as a side note, aggressive selling is evil. Don't ever let anyone sell you anything. If you make any purchases, have it based on what you can determine from the passive advertisements. If a Target employee says anything positive about any product, plop it in your cart like you're going to buy it and as soon as they're out of sight, dropkick that mess like it's a football. That way, not only are you hating on the product for trying to sneak its way into your cart, you're also hating on the Target employee by making him/her have to eventually go and pick it up and put it back up on the shelf. I say 'Target' not because I hate them. I <3 that place, even though I worked there for a few months! I just know Wal Mart employees are more likely to ask for change than make a solid sales pitch. Not that Target employees get paid commission. You know what?! You're thinking way too much about this! Why don't you calm down! It was just a 'for instance' kind of thing. If it makes you feel any better, pretend I said 'Best Buy' or 'Sears' instead of 'Target'. Those guys get paid commission, right?
Here is the current list of things I'd like to major in:
1.) Photography
2.) English
3.) Japanese
4.) Filmography
5.) Psychology
6.) Teaching
7.) Music
8.) Life Guarding (not really a major is it?)
9.) I'm sure there's more, I just can't think of them right now
So I get dropped off downtown and have to wander around in the bitter cold looking for a room that I don't even know the number of, for a good ten minutes. I find the place and have to wait for a hour. I really don't mind waiting, I'm a super patient person, but having to wait makes this story sound all the more unplesant. THEN this lady, who's supposed to be helping me decide on a major, is like "Well if you don't know what you want to do then I can't help you." like--"WTF? I thought that was your job!" apparently not. Her job is to force me to register for classes despite not having a major. There was English and Math. Those are both legit. But then she signed me up for Psychology and music theory. Then she starts tanking into this 'student loan' thing like "Okay, well it looks like you've got a few offers here, why don't we just accept those now..." I probably would have if she worded it different or wasn't so pushy about it, but the way she did things made me feel like I was in one of those sales meetings where they talk to you for hours and hours about a real estate course or a timeshare in Alaska and at the end are like "So how many can I put you down for?" 'assuming the sale' like I've already said 'yes' which is apparently a good tactic to selling, but it's never worked on me or for me. Just as a side note, aggressive selling is evil. Don't ever let anyone sell you anything. If you make any purchases, have it based on what you can determine from the passive advertisements. If a Target employee says anything positive about any product, plop it in your cart like you're going to buy it and as soon as they're out of sight, dropkick that mess like it's a football. That way, not only are you hating on the product for trying to sneak its way into your cart, you're also hating on the Target employee by making him/her have to eventually go and pick it up and put it back up on the shelf. I say 'Target' not because I hate them. I <3 that place, even though I worked there for a few months! I just know Wal Mart employees are more likely to ask for change than make a solid sales pitch. Not that Target employees get paid commission. You know what?! You're thinking way too much about this! Why don't you calm down! It was just a 'for instance' kind of thing. If it makes you feel any better, pretend I said 'Best Buy' or 'Sears' instead of 'Target'. Those guys get paid commission, right?
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