Apparently you're not supposed to talk about getting married after just a kiss on the cheek
I really should've seen it coming from a mile away.
It's so hard for me to even tolerate most people, and I have to fake like I like them anyways, so when I find someone I actually can tolerate, I feel like I need to treat them extra special. When there's a girl who I not only can tolerate, but want to tolerate basically all of every day, I can't control myself very well. I'm very excitable. Because of these things, I'm not very well at hiding when I'm crushing on a lady, so I don't try very hard to hide it.
UNFORTUNATELY, my background as a long-time Mormon has my mind very marriage-oriented, and unfortunately, her background as a recent convert wasn't very compatible with the feelings I expressed. It's not like I proposed to her or started talking about what we should name our kids (not like I didn't want to, LOL), but I guess I think about marriage a lot and as I got more and more comfortable with her, I quit holding back so much of what I was thinking. Isn't that awesome? y/n
Not to mention, I'm sure it didn't help when I told her that I love her like...within two days of meeting her for the first time. Us Mormons and throwing around the word 'love'. Or maybe that's just me because I'm a creep. Yeah...that sounds more accurate. I just...First I told her that I liked her a lot and I didn't want her to get the idea that I just meant that I like her as a friend. I guess I really could've just gotten away with saying 'not like a friend', and that would've done a fine job. Oh, and I guess I said it again after the kiss on the cheek. Not directly afterwards, like...a couple of days later...online. I know right? ONLINE. What the heck? It's like I'm loading a pistol, aiming it at my foot, and trying to call the trigger's bluff.
I like to think I'm mature for my age and because of that I only go after ladies that are older than me. Plus, you know...to break the norm. But when a lady tells me that I've got some growing up to do...it stings. I guess it's really self-inflicted though. Despite the fact that I might be real grow'd up in lots of other ways, relationships (with the ladies) is something I'm not an adult about. I'd also like to think that with every failure I'm learning more and more about relationship stuff so that I can be an adult about it in the future somewhere down the line, but I don't...think that's true at all. Until I meet ANOTHER person who's as awesome as I am and just as excitable about relationships, I'm pretty sure I'll be out of luck, but to find that 'special someone' I'll have to go through another million people including (but not limited to): [people like] Lee Robertson*. I could really do without another one of him, not to mention the nine-hundred thousand** other people that I'll have to pretend to like.
WHATEVER, I'll get over it. I always do. Last time what helped a lot was finding someone else to start crushing over and most people would call that a rebound, but totally not for me. I'm really picky and last time it took a year to find her. So I guess it'll take a while, but the fact remains that I will get over it and it might help that I'm caught up in this whole 'survival' mode worrying about what I'm going to eat or how I'm going to pay rent. Hey, I guess I'm probably going to New York for the weekend in a week. What part? LOL IDK.
And now you're probably like "Well I guess we'll see you back in Ohio pretty soon then huh?" NO. First of all, I had to step on a lot of people's faces to get out here and I'm not about to throw that in their...faces. Second of all, I didn't just come out here for a girl, in fact that's only the 1.5th (read: 'first and a halfth') most important reason I came out here. Third, I have a job, and with that comes obligation. I'm obligated to stay out here for the sake of all the kids that I'm doing a terrible job of tutoring. Fourth, I really like it out here. It reminds me a lot of Portland [Oregon] (as far as the geography goes). The ward out here is really nice too. Back in Ohio we definitely met in an alley. Out here we've got a TWO STORY BRICK BUILDING and everyone is so nice. Instead of calling around and trying to find a ride I've got a guy that's actually calling me and being like "You need a ride?" so I'm taken care of pretty well. OH! AND INSTITUTE IS SERVED WITH FOOD! I might have already mentioned that somewhere in the vastness of the internets that I write upon, but I'm a big fan of that. The menu for Wednesday night is NOT bread sammiches plzkthx.
*I usually try and avoid using people's real or full names but if you knew this guy, you would totally know what I'm talking about.
**I hate using number keys and 'nine-hundred ninety-nine thousand nine-hundred ninety-nine' looks and sounds tacky, although pretending to like Lee Robertson should count as having to pretend to like a hundred thousand other people...
16 January, 2009
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2 comments:
Have you ever noticed that you only fall for women who a) have a boyfriend, b) live very far away from you, c) are leaving on a mission, d) are widowed, e) have children, or f) some combination of the above that would make it pretty difficult for you to date them? Have you ever noticed that every time things start to go well with a lady, you preemptively do something to scare her away? I know you think that Jon Kice can only exist as a) a rugged loaner, or b) a reliable married man, but I gotta tell you that having a long term girlfriend can be a pretty nice thing. Being picky is one thing.... being able to walk into a gymnasium full of single church members (i.e. a dance) and know at a glance that not a single one interests you goes WAY beyond picky. Heck, once I proposed to you a hypothetical situation in which their was a girl who was absolutely perfect for you in every way except for one slight drawback, and you informed me that this (hypothetical, perfect) person wasn't good enough for you and you weren't even remotely interested in her. You must realize, Jon, the first step to getting over your fear of being in a relationship, is to admit you HAVE a fear of being in relationships.
What can I say? I just love a challenge. If an acceptable candidate just jumped into my arms, without any effort on my part, I totally wouldn't appreciate her as much as if I had to endure through the fire and flames. You know what I mean? Since I've got ladies throwing themselves at me left and right, I'm raising the bar and going after the hard-to-get ones. I'm not opposed to the idea of a long-term relationship, I just let a few of my thoughts spill out and be heard. It's not like I proposed to her or anything, I just talked about like "If we get married..." or "If our first child is a boy..."
Three months is pretty "long-term" isn't it?
LOL. J/K. I just talked about marriage in general a little too much for her comfort I suppose. Besides that, she's a recent convert so there's a year before she gets married to anyone (in the temple at least). So it's kind of pointless to plan that far ahead. A lot can happen in a year. A lot can happen in a week. When I get married, I'll have a three day engagement thank you very much.
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